Spiked Student Ministries

Eyes Wide Open

POSTED: 7/15/11 BY TED LOWE

1. Cut off from the outside world. No one is so important that he or she can’t be completely offline for a few weeks a year. Worried you will create tension with clients, co-workers, even family? Communicate with them before you leave. For instance, here is an automatic email reply: “Thanks for your email. I am with people who are more important than you. If you need immediate assistance, you’re out of luck. God bless and have a nice day!”
2. Look at your family often, especially their faces. Life is so busy, we forget to see those we love the most.
3. Laugh often.
4. Use this vacation time to also take a vacation from talking about or worrying about tensions in your marriage, finances, or problems with the kids. Those things will still be there when you get home, but chances are they will seem smaller because you will be refreshed—body, soul and mind.
5. Turn off or specifically limit electronics. We are the generation that tells those they love the most to “hold on.” Hold on to what? Use your vacation to hold on to each other.
6. Take a vacation from a packed schedule. Don’t feel like you have to fill every moment doing something. If you like to stay up late at night, then stay up late and sleep late the next morning. Read a book. Breathe and lose track of time.
7. Be affectionate. Hug, pat and kiss often.
8. In an unofficial way, ask great questions: What has been your “high” so far this year? What has been your “high” so far on this trip? If you were a superhero, would you rather have the power to be invisible or the power to fly? Did we mention to laugh often?
9. If you are taking your children, use the time to connect instead of correct. Other than disrespect of others, try to avoid correcting behaviors. Use the time to just be together.
10. Get alone with God. It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate. By yourself, go talk with God. Maybe get up early one morning, sit outside, go for a walk, or take a longer-than-usual shower. For the first few minutes, or maybe the entire time, just listen. Good communication is always a two-way street. Tell God what you are thankful for, and be sure to include everything you love about the people you are vacationing with. Take a break from prayers of: “God, can You fix this? Give me this. Help me with this?” Just be honest with God. Talk to Him like you want your kids to talk to you.

Too much to remember? Bottom Line: Be present. Love. Breathe. Tell God “Thanks!”

1. Get involved with your child from the beginning.
Remember, there is only one thing a father can’t do for his baby. And even then, you can still establish a role for yourself bathing, burping, comforting, and taking the baby out for a walk.
2. Prioritize fatherhood.
Some dads worry that by emphasizing family so much they will lose their edge at the workplace and not be as competitive for positions as those who lack family ties or neglect them. Research doesn’t support that fear. Plan your work around your family. Decide that father-child time is not negotiable, but work time is. With calendar or planner in hand, schedule first the activities of your children, the school events, the games, then write in your work obligations.
3. Make yourself available always.
Interrupt your meetings when anyone in the family calls. Learn to text and respond quickly. Don’t be busy all of the time. Build in opportunities for spontaneous conversations.
4. Have regular one-on-one time with each child.
Sometimes it’s fun to talk while you’re doing errands or making home repairs, but be sure there are times that you turn off the TV, put down the newspaper, and give your kids your undivided attention. Arrange solo time with your kids. Go out to eat a favorite meal or to do an activity the child enjoys or just go on an errand together.
5. Connect with your child at all levels.
Make sure you have some contact with every aspect of your child’s life. Visit the school, meet the teacher and kids and have at least a bit of contact with an after-school activity. If you have seen where your children are and met their friends, you will have more to talk about and more interesting conversations. Parent involvement during children’s schooling is critical to their school success. Work with your employer to see that your work schedule doesn’t preclude your involvement in your child’s schooling.
6. Become an expert dad.
Keep up with the language of child rearing. Talk to other dads informally, in groups, or in parenting classes. Read articles and books about good fathering. In too many families, Mom becomes the “expert” and Dad relegates his responsibilities to her. Don’t let that happen to you.
7. Teach them.
No dad has every gift or skill. Kids may learn certain things from other males in their lives. Use opportunities to share your talents. In my family, I lack auto mechanical ability, but I have passed on the gift and love of sports by personally coaching their teams.
8. Take kids to work.
This is a great way to teach them about the world of work that you are a part of. Take kids with you on business trips when possible.
9. Stay connected when you have to be away.
Sometimes work takes dads out of town. Set up a routine to stay connected. Some families schedule a specific time Dad will call that is convenient for all members of the family. When you return, bring home something special for the kids. It doesn’t have to be extravagant.
10. Show affection often.
Even if older kids seem squeamish, kids enjoy a hug and always enjoy encouraging words from their dad. I get my sons t-shirts each time I go on a trip, and they wear them proudly, even when their friends ask why they have such a random collection of shirts from so many different cities.

Tough conversations can be amazing growth opportunities for you and your students.

It doesn’t happen all the time, but every once in a while, you will get one or a few students that have a concern about some element of your youth ministry and want to talk about it. These are not conversations I look forward to, but I have had enough of them that I can share the steps I use to get through it and keep the leader-student relationship intact.

Listen: The student who is coming to see you has likely thought long and hard about this conversation, so when you meet, let them speak. Makes notes if you have to; the more information you get, the more you have to work with as you respond. The student might be expecting you to just dismiss them, so hearing them out will be very disarming and allow a great conversation to follow.

Is it Biblical?: Now that you have heard the student’s concern about the program, are they highlighting something we are doing that is contrary to Scripture? This is a great question to ask the student and chew on with them. It might put them on the spot, but it drives home the point that our goal should be to have a youth ministry that functions in accordance to Biblical principals. The majority of the time, student complaints are a reflection of taste and personal preference and that you are not running the youth group to their desire, and if this is the case, remain calm and proceed to step 3.

Articulate the vision: Perhaps they don’t know why you don’t have the latest Skillet album playing every week when students are arriving or that having acoustic worship as opposed to a full band means that the Worship team has less opportunities to serve. If you ask me to explain the intentional elements and reasoning behind our youth services, you better be sitting down because I could take an hour. The students don’t know all of that, and when you share why you do one thing and not another, they appreciate the insider look at why things are done a certain way. While you are at it, share with that student where God is moving in the area they are concerned about; they might be surprised to hear it.

Recap and clarify: They have come to you with something they think might be wrong; make sure that you have not confused that student with Christianese Pastor Talk. This is the time to prove that you listened by reiterating their concerns and summarizing your response to it. This is really meant to make sure that they don’t leave frustrated for feeling unheard because you may not agree with them but you cared enough to hear them out and explain why things are not changing.

Thank them: Sticking your neck out does not come easy to everyone, and for a student to make time to come see you and share something they are passionate about is a big deal. Make sure you thank them, not only for their time, but for their passion for the youth ministry and willingness to talk to you and not to talk to all of their friends instead (they probably did talk to their friends about it, but verbally giving them the benefit of the doubt will go a long way). You don’t have to agree with them to appreciate the feedback/criticism; take it and be thankful.

These sorts of conversations are not my favorite but are a necessary part of being a youth pastor, and if done well, are amazing growth opportunities for students and ourselves.

Geoff Stewart

FAMILY MINISTRIES

Family Ministry is a philosophy of the church and parents synchronizing their efforts to fuel wonder, discovery and passion for kids and students birth through High School.  We know that two combined influences are better than just two influences.  Our goal in family ministries is when a kid graduates from High School they don’t graduate from their faith. From preschool to High School, it draws on the elements of wonder, discovery and passion, infusing them into children, students and young adults. Why? To see God for who He is, to help young people see themselves the way God sees them, so that they can love others the way God does.

Starting with wonder, Family Ministry helps preschoolers embrace a God who is bigger than their imagination, then adds discovery so children can understand how to grow in their relationship with God. Finally, Family Ministry fuels passion by giving students opportunities to be the church and to make a difference influencing their generation.

KIDS MINISTRY

We have multiple kid-friendly environments designed for children from birth through fifth grade, available during all weekend services. New Horizon Kids is a place where faith, imagination, learning, and fun go hand in hand.

At New Horizon Kids we are committed to making church such an exciting experience that kids are encountering God and engaging in community on their level

What is New Horizon Kids?

New Horizon Kids is a children’s ministry uniquely designed with your child in mind! Kids, birth through fifth grade, experience safe, age-appropriate environments where the Bible is taught in a creative and relevant way. Join the fun and experience a world where kids meet Jesus on their level!

ALL children (babies through 5th grade) attend New Horizon each Sunday! We are so passionate about kids learning about Jesus in a way they can understand.

STUDENT MINISTRY

What is Spiked?

Spiked is the weekly gathering of the New Horizon Student Ministry. We’re dedicated to providing a place for students (6th -12th grade) to connect with God, with other students, and with older leaders that are dedicated to seeing students grow closer to Christ.

We want to engage and reach students and family’s of this culture.  New Horizon Student Ministry has an environment each week for students to meet Christ and grow closer to Him.

Stay in the Know

You can get announcements and details at ruspiked.com. If you just have general questions that aren’t covered here, feel free to email us at ruspiked.com and we’ll get back to you.

We’ll see you at Spiked, and remember, bring a friend with you. It’s too good not to share.

YM News: CultureWatch: Cutting and Self-Injury: The Pain Goes Deeper and Wider http://ht.ly/1cB7Z3

This is a Re-Post from several months ago, powerful post!

This is a post that I read this week from Mary Jo Rapini…I found it on www.parentingpink.com. Here are some great practical tips on communication with your teen-age daughter.

Having a teenager is one of the most challenging times in a parent’s marriage –as well as their life. It is scary, frustrating, and chaotic. It is a time of letting go, enforcing rules, strengthening boundaries and also nurturing. Teens may appear to be fighting against us at times — rebelling against our rules, pointing out our inadequacies, and telling us how “out of it” we are.

However, they also still love and need us. They need their mom and dad to stay strong and enforce the rules and structure that help make them feel secure. There are certain things teenagers really need to hear from their parents. You cannot say these things when they would be most apropos. However, you can say them at night when the child is relaxed and going to sleep. They offer less resistance at night just before bedtime. They will remember what you said, and they will reflect on it when you least expect it.

15 things that should be said during your daughter’s teen years:

1. No one will ever love you in the same way or have your best interests at heart more than your mom/dad and I will.

2. You have so many gifts and options; I will help you capitalize/benefit from them as best I can.

3. How can I help you reach your dreams?

4. No matter what you confide in me, I will always love you and do what is best for you.

5. My job is not to be your buddy. I am your parent and will love and mentor you.

6. I am sorry. (Say this whenever you hurt your child, or your child is in pain from something someone else said to them.)

7. I embrace your friends, but I love you the most.

8. It is okay to mess up; I do it all the time.

9. I am sorry you don’t like my rules, but you will have to abide by them. I will hold you accountable if you break them and there will be a consequence.

10. If you are in trouble, call me first, no matter where you are. I may be angry, but my first concern will always be your safety. We will talk about punishment or consequences later.

11. You are an integral part of this family, and the family needs you to run smoothly.

12. I don’t care what your friends get to do. I am not their parent; I am yours and you are my main responsibility and concern.

13. I admire you more than you can ever understand or know.

14. If you get in trouble at school, be honest with me. Your teacher is the authority at school and if I hear it from your teacher before I hear it from you, I will feel betrayed or deceived. I may react to this breach of trust.

15. From the first time I saw your eyes, I vowed to be the best parent I could be for you. I make mistakes but they are not meant to hurt you. I make them because I love you so much and get scared sometimes. It is hard parenting a teen (your child
will understand this confession).

The number of years your child is a teen are relatively short, but no time in your child’s life can influence the relationship they have with you into adulthood as much as their teen years. Hold strong boundaries, talk with them, listen to them, and tell them frequently with a hug how much you love them. They will make it through — and so will you.

“Just a second…!”

I recently found out about a “leap second”. Never heard of it before, but in 2008, evidently someone who runs the atomic clocks in the world added a second to our time. http://tycho.usno.navy.mil/leapsec.html It has something to do with keeping clock time in sync with the rotation of the earth. I am glad someone keeps up with that stuff, because I sure don’t.

This “leap second” got me thinking. In scripture we find references that try to show us that God is not restricted by time – “a day is like a thousand years and a thousand years like a day…” I started thinking about Peter’s math. If you calculate that one day = a thousand years then one second is about 47 years, I think. (Math was not my strongest subject.) A lot can happen in 47 years. Just like a lot can happen in just a second: a hand shake, a high five, a call or text sent by the push of a button, an “Amen” at the close of a prayer. It takes just a little with God. He is not restricted by time or space. If we give Him just a little, it can be magnified. Just think what can happen through a life that surrenders all! I challenge you to emphasize the little things this week in your ministry. Like a second. Some student may need just that. And God can do so much with such little time.

Jim Chapman
Speaker Big Chap Ministries

I hope you will come join us at 8, 9:30 & 11. We will have Middle School services at 9:30 & 11. It is going to be a great weekend at New Horizon Church. Don’t come alone. www.newhorizonchurch.tv

I love this picture of Ali. He seemed to always fight to the end of a fight. I have to believe he was always serious about the fight he was getting ready to fight. Every person he was schedule to fight was a challenge. He took great preparation for each fighter.

1 Timothy 6:12 NLT
Fight the good fight for the true faith. Hold tightly to the eternal life to which God has called you, which you have confessed so well before many witnesses.

When you get serious about living by faith in the Word of God, the devil will challenge you So get prepared to fight:
1. Make the decision to take the faith stand.Be strong, determined and purposed.
2. Resist the devil by casting down any thoughts of doubt or unbelief Then speak out the Word that pertains to your situation.
3 Attend to the Word daily to keep your mind renewed to God’s thoughts and ways
4. Speak faith only. The devil can’t do anything to you if you won’t open the door to him with your words.
A good fight is the one you win!!!

Don’t forget about Easter at New Horizon Church. We have three services at 8, 9:30 & 11. Spiked Middle School will have two services at 9:30 & 11. See you at Easter.